Dear Losers,
Sometimes I feel like me and my friends are competing when it comes to boys, friends, and extra-curricular activities. And sometimes they can be really mean. It’s so confusing!
How do you deal with mean girls and competitive friends?
Abby, 16
Dear Reader,
You punch them on camera and post it on Youtube. Duh. Haven’t you ever seen the 10 o’ clock news?
I’m joking. Violence is never the answer ladies. It’s all about psychological warfare! Be mean to the girl and destroy her self- esteem so you gain a competitive advantage. Oh, and steal her boyfriend. ( It can’t hurt. )
Once again, I’m joking.
But sadly, some girls aren’t. Some girls do set out to destroy any girl they are jealous of, even if it’s their friend. It’s a little something I like to call the Teen Star Syndrome. As you know, teen stars like Taylor Swift and Demi Lovato, had a hard time growing up. I saw Taylor Swift in an interview say that some days she would go to school and wonder if anyone was going to talk to her that day.
Sad face. 
WHAT?!
It’s hard to fathom because she’s super famous now. Many adore her. If she walked into a high school now, she’d be mobbed. Everyone would be trying to talk to her! Why wouldn’t you like someone who was fun, talented and unique?
But that’s probably the exact reason people were mean to her.
I know what some of you are thinking. “Well good! I don’t like Taylor Swift either! Why do I have to like her? Her music is stupid!”
And others of you are thinking, “Oh no you did NOT just say that about my idol, Taylor. You better hide at the next Justin Bieber concert!”
And what I am saying is calm down. Insert the name of whatever bullied star you like. I’m just trying to illustrate a point here.
Yes, we all have people who don’t like us or find us annoying. But when someone goes out of their way to be mean to you for no reason, it usually stems from something. In Taylor’s case and others like hers, I’d say it’s probably jealousy.
When you are good at something, sometimes people are jealous and want to ostracize you. And when you are different, sometimes people think you are weird and they want to ostracize you.
So imagine when you are both!
I’ve witnessed it firsthand. My sister grew up a superstar dancer. She is also really nice and adorable. (I’m not biased or anything.) And some girls in the dance world are really mean to her. I guess they think,
Well she’s my competition. I don’t want her to (gasp) feel good about herself. I don’t want to give off the vibe “Hey, I think you’re cool and talented!” So I will give off the vibe of ” Hey, I DON’T think your cool and talented. Oh and P.S., I hope you cry yourself to sleep at night! Love ya!”
But the only clear vibe these girls are giving off is, Hey, I’m insecure!
Be a true friend and figu
re out who your true friends are. My sister used to refer to her true friends as her “non-bitchy friends.” That cracks me up. I guess so she doesn’t confuse them with her “bitchy friends” ? It always makes me picture an AOL buddy list-
“Bitchy Friends (8/50)”
“Non-Bitchy Friends (3/10)”
Oh cool Non-Bitchy Natalie is online!
Luckily she’s learned how to deal with her “bitchy- friends.” She knows when to stand up for herself and avoid getting taken advantage of by them. She realized that her mean friends aren’t her real friends. They are more like mean acquaintances!
So when a friend or close acquaintance is mean to you, don’t be afraid to tell them that. You can say, (in an even tone), (okay, or in a sassy one), “ Hey, that was pretty mean. I’m confused, are you mad at me? ”
Confronting someone may be a hard concept for nice girls to grasp, but you aren’t being mean. You are simply pointing out their behavior.
It’s like when someone has blueberry smoothie in their teeth, and you say Hey, you have blueberry smoothie in your teeth. See ya at practice!
The facts are the facts.
And the fact is, girls who are mean are mean because they get away with it. I’ve had friends ask me, Why isn’t Mean Madison mean to you??
And I say, “Because she knows I won’t put up with it!”
If Mean Maddy knows you won’t put up with it, she will probably give up and go be mean to someone else. It’s sort of like when you go to Target and they are out of your favorite lip gloss. You’re like, Oh well, I’ll go to Rite Aid instead!
You can also just be the bigger person and not let it get to you. If you don’t have to put up with a meanie often, and you feel its inappropriate to confront them, then don’t. You don’t need to be Confrontational Connie, throwing a tantrum over everything. Go ahead and laugh it off.
And if the mean girls come around and start being nice, try to be receptive. It’s difficult, but avoid the mean cycle. Sometimes former frenemies can become best friends! (I didn’t invite Tricia to my birthday when we met in elementary school and she started a club against me. Complete with STATIONARY. And look at us now!)
But that’s for another post.
If you still find yourself struggling with those meanies, then write a song about it. Or listen to Taylor’s.
Listen to Taylor\’s new song, \”Mean\”!
And check out how she dealt with bullies!
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20255247,00.html
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Tags: advice for girls, demi lovato bullied, how to deal with bullies, how to deal with mean girls, humor, taylor swift bullied, taylor swift song mean
